ok so last friday night after i left melissa's i was super stoned and eating pizza/ranch doritos. i really wanted the spicy ones but i was afraid they'd be too spicy and i had the munchies and really needed something. i would have shopped longer at 7-11 at 4am but there were a million kids in there and it was freaking me out. so i grabbed 'ritos and ran.
when i got home i had to pee and that's when i realized that i have this ritual every time i go in any bathroom (not public) and i started to wonder if anyone does it too. okay so if there is a shower in there and the curtain is closed i always, and i mean ALWAYS pull it back, usually super hastily, to see if anyone / thing is lurking behind it. i have to do it. sometimes even when the curtain is open i punch where it's all bunched up to one side to make sure nothing is there. i don't know if it's because i watched hitchcock's psycho as a kid and now i have this subconscious fear that someone is waiting for me to be vulnerable and then they'll attack. who knows. but sometimes i forget to do it and then i'll be peeing and have to lean over to the shower and swing the curtain really hard. something's wrong with me.
something else that's weird about me is that eyeballs make me want to throw up. well, most people know that. they know not to ask me if there's something in their eye or to show me images of eyeballs close up because i get legit freaked out. 2 yrs ago at the optometrist's office i couldn't pass the eye-puff test because i kept blinking right when it would go off. because i kept failing i had to get eyeball numbing eye drops so they could check for glaucoma. it was one of the most traumatizing experience of my life. it felt horrible and weird and it's making me nauseous to think about it now. ANYWAY sometimes i get this weird rush of thoughts where i think about being stabbed in the eyeball. it usually happens when i'm holding a pen or the box cutter at work. i am cringing right now writing about it because it's forcing me to think about it. i seriously get so worked up i make faces and shudder. people who see me doing it probably think that i have a twitch. but i can't help it and i'm honestly freaking out in the library right now as i type this.
okay that's it. two things that i've never told anyone about myself. weird.
hi melissa.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comments:
You are ridiculous.
I frequently check the bathroom before I pee, too. I don't have to do it at my place, thought, because the curtain here is clear, so I never feel like anyone is here waiting for me or whatever.
I used to check it all the time at the old place, though, cause I really thought someone was gonna get me.
But really, who would have sat and waited in that disgusting shower? Even mike wore shoes in it.
Post a Comment